You Can't Fight the Moonlight
by Christene Cullen
Summary: Life was tough, but she was tougher... Moony x Tonks shipping. Basically what happens after HBP. Tonks' feelings for Remus, Remus' feelings for Tonks. Please R&R! CHAPTER TWO NOW UP.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Alright. First HP fan fiction ever, starting off with my most favoritest pair: Tonks & Remmy. Now. If you are here to bash my pairing, bash away. I don' care, but tell me. I feel lousy when some one just tells me my story sucks for no reason. So, please, provide reason. Next, a lot of this may be some what inaccurate. I haven't read the sixth book in who knows how long, seeing as I am more of a marauder person myself. Lastly, dedicated to Jawsies, because she put up with my complete Tonks/Remmy obsession last night when I was hyper on coca-cola. xD

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of these lovely characters, sadly.

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Remus Lupin was a strong believer in love. He'd done his readings, like Romeo and Juliet, and The Great Gatsby (though both endings hadn't been happy). He thought he had understood love. Remus knew what caused some one to love another; he had read about it in books, and heard his friends (namely Sirius and James) talk about love. But Remus himself had never experienced love. So that day when he first met Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius' second cousin, whose mother had also been disowned, he was unsure of the feeling that arose in his stomach.

It wasn't like a crashing wave that washed over him as he took in, with wide, shocked eyes, Tonks' flamboyant bubble gum pink hair, her childish qualities and her rather upbeat, new age sense of style. No, it had been more of the feeling of: this is definitely some one different, some one I would like to get to know better. That was about it.

Funny how things worked out. One moment you were meeting this intriguing girl, for that was really all she was, a girl compared to his age, and the next you could have sworn you were head over heels in love. Well, not exactly in that order. Of course there had been the in between time, the time when he had been out with the werewolves, and other times like that. But the funny thing was, she had always been on his mind. Remus knew it was wrong; he was too old, too poor, and much, much, much too dangerous for her. He hardly trusted himself around his friends when nearing the full moon, and any thought of ever getting into a relationship Remus had always banished. It just wasn't something possible. You were supposed to be there to take care of your wife. If he were to ever get married, that would really not be possible. For that week when the full moon happened, he tended to be ill, and weak, and, well, much like a small child. Even with the wolfsbane, it was still rather hard on him, and that was not something he wanted to put Tonks through.

The only real reason Moony kept thinking on this was when they were in the Hospital. It seemed as if Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were egging him on, trying to, well really, trick him into a relationship. Well if that was their goal, they were doing one hell of a job. He was truly considering it, and only because every time she entered the room, every time they were forced to sit together, side by side, yet awkwardly leaning away, it was unbearable. And yet, he pulled through, but there was a price to pay. The only reason he pulled through was because Remus was a cynical person, and all he could think about was how he would some how manage to hurt her.

"Remus?" The voice sounded distant from his train of thoughts. Who dared interrupt him while he was thinking? Blinking owlishly, the werewolf looked up to find himself staring into the face of none other than Arthur Weasley. Arching his brows tentatively and running scarred hands through his graying hair, Remus looked up to meet the man's gaze, before sweeping those same sad eyes around the table. There was only one pair of eyes he couldn't meet…

"So sorry, Arthur, I must have drifted off…" Remus murmured dryly as the conversation kicked back up. More about Voldemort, obviously. He seemed to be making things more and more tricky for the Order, something that was obviously on purpose. But Lupin couldn't concentrate. He had that strange feeling some one was watching him. Looking up, he found the curious eyes of none other than Nymphadora taking in his tired appearance. When she took note of his gaze, her eyes turned down to a piece of parchment before her, blushing bashfully. This brought a slight, watered down smirk to his thin lips. It had been a while since Remus had smiled. The last time must have been Bill and Fleur's wedding, which had been an… interesting event, to say the least. The couple themselves had been happy, but he had spent most of the evening much like this, to his own dismay. He'd fought with Tonks earlier that same day, and the young auror had been pretty upset through out the whole wedding. Half of Fleur's family had thought that he'd broken up with her or something, earning himself a good number of glares that day. If only they had known he was protecting her… Would their glances have changed? Could they understand the torments of a demonic creature such as himself?

Sad brown eyes glanced up again, only to find himself meeting the steady gaze of Tonks. She seemed to be begging with those eyes, as if reading deep into his soul. Did she know? Of course she knew he had feelings for her as well, but did she know how seriously he was considering this, and yet how hard he was resisting? She must have known, because as he sat there, staring at her, there was a small flash of hope that seemed to sparkle in those chocolate eyes. A flash of hope he loved, and never, ever wished to put out.

-x-

Tonks was silent the whole meeting, something that startled most of the Order. Truth be told, she had been rather silent this past month, and it all seemed to be due to one thing: Remus Lupin. It was obvious the girl was crazy for the older man, and his reasoning for not wanting to be with her only seemed to compel her more. She didn't care if he was dangerous or poor! As for age, well, Love shouldn't have a set age limit. What was so hard to understand about it? She didn't care!

The meeting was finally over, to her pleasure, and the girl was not even slow in standing and rushing from the room in what she hoped was a dignified walk. It would have been a lot more dignified if she hadn't tripped over a corner of the carpet on the way out, but still. She managed to make it into the small parlor of number 12 in a few seconds, record time for the klutz. The sound of talking and laughter floated in after her, but she ignored it, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring fixedly at the coffee table before the moth eaten sofa.

"Hey there," a masculine voice startled her train of thought, but she recognized it immediately. Bill Weasley. Poor kid; his face still looked horrible. At least he still had Fleur. She seemed to truly love him, something that made Tonks want to scream at Remus about. Bill was just as disfigured and maybe even as dangerous as he was, and he was completely happy with Fleur! What was so hard to understand for Remus? Was he that blind, or was it just that he didn't want to acknowledge it? She knew he felt the same way. It was evident, to her at least, in the glances they rarely shared.

Looking up helplessly at Bill, Tonks smiled weakly. "Hey," She murmured, brushing her thin, pale fingers through limp, mousy brown locks of hair that was short and shaggy. Truth be told, the girl was a complete wreck, and it was evident that Bill saw this. The older Weasley brother was a great guy, some one Tonks trusted. He was like her confidant, and for that she was completely grateful. His eyes took in her rather droopy appearance, and with out a word, Bill was seated beside her.

"You alright?" It was funny, how Bill seemed to be able to read her thoughts. She smiled weakly and fell back onto the sofa, letting it brace her up. Her eyes absently drifted over the ceiling, where white paint was fading and peeling innocently. Her family had lived here. That same family that had abandoned her, all because of her father. Would she have been happier if that never would have happened? Tonks shook this thought from her head, and assembled her answer before speaking.

"You know, the usual…" She murmured softly, her eyes still staring down the ceiling. Hot tears bubbled to the surface, but she hurriedly wiped them away. Life was tough, but she was tougher. She was an auror, for god's sake, and she would have to learn to suck it up. Maybe over time she could learn to love another. Maybe she would eventually forget Remus, and actually move on… But the likelihood of that was slim. Remus was a hard man to forget, and he had impacted her too much. She was head over heels in love with him, and there was no way to fix that. So she would wait for him, until the ends of time.

Bill frowned at her response. "Oh," he muttered, obviously thinking of some way to attempt to comfort his friend. Scratching his chin, he leaned back as well. "Give him some time," Bill suggested, his eyes also on the ceiling now. "He'll come around, eventually."

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A/N: Yay for another author's note! Alright. I dunno if this was a good place to stop, but you must deal. I am very, very proud of this so far, because my writing has come a long, long way. Yay me! Thanks for reading, please, please, please! REVIEW!!! Next chapter up soon!


	2. Chapter 2

It had been another long, hard, dreary week. The situation at hand was getting worse and worse for Remus. Mr. Weasley had taken to giving Remus pitiful glances every now and again, obviously feeling sorry for the werewolf. Molly, on the other hand, well, she seemed rather outraged. The older woman was a very passionate person, and treated Remus and Tonks like family. So, thinking that it was her duty to look over the two, Molly had decided to approach Remus on the subject.

"Remus," Molly began, her lips pursed, her hands on her hips. She looked very aggravated. Remus' tired eyes swiveled up from the copy of the Daily Prophet he had been reading, but he remained quiet. It was evident he knew what was coming, and it slightly unnerved Mrs. Weasley. "Why do you push her away?" She asked quietly, earnestly. "She would do you so much good! You are, after all, much too involved with your work. You really need to take a break, Remus," Molly finished off, her voice having adopted that motherly scolding sound.

Lupin attempted to remain calm, to not snap or chide Mrs. Weasley. He was usually very good at that, but this was the third time she had brought up this subject this week, and he was, quite frankly, tired of it. Maybe it was time to put things into perspective for Molly? Maybe if she understood the sheer danger that came along with earning a werewolf's affections, she would see exactly why Remus and Tonks weren't a couple yet. But was it enough for her? Lupin tiredly ran his fingers through is hair and slowly, very slowly, prepared an answer.

"I'm dangerous, Molly," His voice was quiet, tired, echoing sorrow, love and remorse. "Indeed, I have feelings for Tonks. How can I not? She is, well, she is beautiful, caring, loving, absolutely amazing…" The words leaked from his lips, causing Remus' heart to pound a bit louder and faster than he would have liked. "But me," He let out a sigh, revealing his deepest hatred in one simple sound. "I am a monster. A horrifying beast. With one snap of my jaws during a transformation, I could kill her, or at least turn her life upside down. I don't… I don't want to be that person." Lupin's jaw was clenched, as were his fingers. Molly looked on, sympathetic, yet still looking slightly annoyed. "I don't want to put that risk on her. The risk that every full moon, when most lovers get to stare, wide-eyed and in love, up at such a perfect setting, the stars glistening, the moon bright, wide—" A shudder ran through Moony's body, but he pressed on, "that she would have to be home alone, to have to worry about me, its horrid, Molly. That is the reason why so many of my kind decide that civilization is worse than roaming the hills, more as creatures than as civilized human beings. We can't marry, have real relationships. It is just too dangerous!" Remus concluded, his voice hardly hiding the hate, pure loathing, he felt towards his problem.

"Remus," Molly started up, her tone scolding, "you can stand to be around us! I don't think you would be able to hurt her, anyways!" she said roughly, obviously all for the two of them finally getting together. "If you really loved her-" She was sharply cut off by Remus' rebuke.

"If I truly loved her," He said quietly, coldly, "then I would leave her be," his voice echoed what could only be agony. "I would… I would forget her, so that she could be happy. Being in love is putting the other person's happiness first, your own happiness second. That is what I am doing," He said quietly. Molly shook her head, causing her red curls to frizz up.

"Hardly so," she said bitterly, her lips pinching together and her cheeks flushing. "She isn't happy now; what would make Nymphadora Tonks most happy would be knowing that she had you," Molly said softly. She knew it as true; it was hard to miss Tonks' agonizing glances towards the werewolf, the way she was careful never to get too close to him, or touch him. When addressing him, the metamorphmagus didn't dare speak his name, for it seemed to hurt her too much, and it was completely true. Just thinking about him caused a shot of pain and grief to flash over her face for a moment, something that never escaped Molly Weasley's eyes.

Remus' lips drew into a soft snarl and he stood. "I am doing what is best," He shot at her, the words hard, stern, full of authority. "I don't want to hurt her. I couldn't live with myself if I did. I will leave her be. Ginny has always said that Charlie should marry her; they could—" Remus stopped talking and, with a look of sheer hatred at the very idea, turned and stalked out of the room. With in a few seconds of his exit, there was a loud pop, and Remus had left Grimmauld place for the day.

The werewolf turned out in a crowded street, one that was known to every wizard in England: Diagon Alley. Stuffing his scarred and pale hands into his pockets, Remus started down the street, headed in no specific direction. He just needed to walk, to have his mind diverted from the hectic path it was on now. If Sirius were still here, he would have had some one to talk to. If James were still here, he could call him up and then some one would be able to help him. Even Dumbledore would have been nice to talk to right now. But all of the people he desired to see were gone, dead, just like any chance of romance he held. At least here he had to be aware, keep his eyes up and on the look out, so he didn't bump into any one or thing.

A familiar voice caused his head to snap up. There, twenty or so feet away, she was, walking next to none other than one of the older Weasley boys, Bill. But Remus could picture Charlie in his shoes, causing Dora to laugh, to be happy. This thought caused his heart to drown in fear, his stomach to tighten, and his mind to be cloaked in agony. He hated to think of it, of her with some one besides himself. And no matter how many times Lupin denied himself the pleasure of picturing them together, he knew it was right. He knew that there was never a woman who he could love any more than he loved Nymphadora Tonks. She was the one who hovered in his dreams, like a guardian angel. And at that very moment, as the jealousy subsided, he knew what he had to do.

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A/N:Alright, really short, yeah. But I needed to get this out, so that I can move on to Remmy finally just throwing the towel and being like, oh, screw it. So that is coming soon! Please, R & R!!! Oh, also! I know, that they kick the can in book 7, but I am ignoring that. This will actually turn kind of into that, and I have this idea for an ending… yay! I think it is so easy for me to write for Remmy here, because the pair compare soo much to my all time favorite couple in the universe Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. C'mon, Ed and Rem are both dangerous, convinced they would end up hurting the women the loved! Plus, both are completely loveable!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Yey Chapter 3! Gotta 3 the twins. xDDD Read & Review, Pleaaaaaaase!!!

Remus Lupin nervously paced back and forth in the hall outside of the Parlor. His face, worn, tired and pale, held the air of a man about to go onstage and perform a monologue he had been working on for some time to the largest audience of his life. In short, Remus was nervous, and that was that. Of course, he had never had to do something like this; he had never thought he would be doing this, of all things! His fingers slipped into the pockets of his robes, checking to make sure that the square velvet box was still in place. It was right where he had left it.

The Order had just gotten out of another meeting. As usual, Tonks had crashed onto the velvet, moth-eaten couch and was smiling lightly at some joke the twins had just told. Obviously, she hadn't been paying attention to them. Resting her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, the metamorphmagus stared absently at the wall across from her. Her mind whirred dismally, recalling the whole meeting over again. Of course, it hadn't been the meeting itself that had caught her attention; it had been Remus. He had purposefully avoided her gaze, as usual, but today, a small smile of almost triumph had been present. Was he over her? Was she stranded, falling so desperately in love with him and not having those feelings returned? Tonks was so busy with her train of thought, she missed the sound of the door opening and a quiet voice beckoning every one out of the room.

"Could you give Nymphadora and me some time… alone?" Remus asked politely, grabbing two extendable ears from the twins' hands as they passed, causing them to look crestfallen that he had noticed the things. Every one filed out of the room slowly, their eyes suspiciously darting from Tonks to Remus. Kingsley and Arthur continued muttering in the hall, something Remus hurriedly tuned out.

"Tonks," Dora miserably corrected him, her eyes fixed on the table in front of her. She didn't dare look up at him while he spoke, for fear of what she would see there. She didn't want to see the joy that echoed through his voice, one she was sure marked the fact that he was over her. It hurt her too much, even just thinking about it. Running her fingers through her mousy brown hair, Tonks let her chin rest in her hands once more and her eyes carefully inspect the coffee table.

"Tonks…" Remus' voice echoed right in her ear, and, raising her eyes, she found herself face to face with the werewolf. He had crouched down to her level, his liquid grey eyes piercing through her own chocolate ones. That small, triumphant smile was still on his lips and, as she watched with a careful fascination, one scarred hand came up to softly caress her cheek. Burying her face in her hands, she shook her head.

"Don't," Tonks gasped into her own hands, the hot tears starting up and slowly tricking down her cheeks. It hurt; he was teasing her now, showing her something she could never have. Her heart was already broken into too many pieces; she didn't need it broken down into fragmented shards now. Remus, though, seemed confused. His fingers deftly brushed the tears away, gently embracing her soft skin. Those same fingers traced down her jaw line to rest on her chin, and Remus slowly tilted her face up to his.

Taking in a deep, shaking breath, Tonks shook her head. But Remus' lips had already parted, and soft, gentle words were flowing forth. "Dora, I have something I need to say," Tonks' squeezed her eyes shut, as if that would help to block out the words. "I… I've given much consideration to everything you have ever told me, and I… I've decided to throw caution to the wind," He said quietly. "I love you, and I never want to loose you," He told her softly, his hand brushing aside a few stray locks of hair from her face. "I love you, Tonks." Her eyes flooded with the tears as she slowly opened them.

"Where's the but?" She asked him quietly, her voice echoing with pain and misery. She knew it was coming; the werewolf had had too many excuses these past few weeks. Maybe he didn't realize how madly in love she was with him, but it didn't change anything. Instead, she just sat there, waiting for Remus to tack on a quick explanation as to why they couldn't be together. Instead, though, Remus' face flooded with confusion.

"The but?" He asked, his weathered features creased with confusion.

"You know," Tonks stated, starting to harden up a bit. She realized how vulnerable she had been there. Putting her feelings behind lock and key, the metamorphmagus looked up longingly at Remus. The love she felt flooded through her veins, causing her head to pound lightly. "The but that leads to the—" Tonks was cut off, not by sharp, reprimanding words, but instead by the soft, tender caress of Lupin's lips upon her own. At first she was startled, but daren't pull back. Instead, Tonks put aside everything, feeling only the sheer love that ran through her veins. She pushed aside all of Remus' stupid excuses, his reasonings, his silly logic. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressed her body against his.

The funny thing was that Remus didn't stop her. Instead he seemed to hold on to the connection like one last thread of hope before finally breaking apart, his lips tweaked up in that innocent, victorious smile. "See?" He murmured, his fingers intertwined in her hair, which was now short, spiky and bubble gum pink. "I really do love you…" Moony whispered into Tonks' ear as she rested her forehead on his broad shoulder. She seemed to be shaking slightly, though from what, he was unsure. "I don't ever want to loose you," Remus pressed on, his fingers absently weaving through her hair. "I want to be with you for forever, to spend every moment by your side… to wake up where you are," he said weakly. Lupin could feel the shoulder of his button up shirt soaked with the salty tears leaking from her eyes. Laughing gently, he pried Tonks off of his shoulder. "Are you alright?" He asked, worry now tracing his face.

Tonks was half laughing half crying. Excitement coursed through her veins, causing her to bubble over. He loved her. It was as simple as that. She didn't need to hear anything else, save those three simple words. Her heart was pounding and her eyes leaking from sheer joy. It was not like Tonks to be so completely and utterly emotional, but it felt nice to have a shoulder to cry on. And it was hers, for ever. Remus was never going to escape her grasp, now that she had him. Her arms immediately wrapped around Remus' torso, and he returned the gesture, burying his face in her hair. For a few minutes, the two sat there, embracing, until finally, it was Remus, once again, he broke the hold. He was smiling lightly, and the look he was giving her was simply glorious. Wiping the tears away once more, Remus fumbled in his pocket.

Finally, the werewolf found what he was looking for. A worn velvet box was pulled forth, and, with slightly shaking fingers, Remus pried it open. "Nymphadora Tonks—" Dora scoffed at the use of her first name. Her eyes were fixed only on Remus' face, for she hardly cared about the ring. It was just a symbol, anyways, one that she really didn't find necessary. Besides, it wasn't a stunning thing. Instead it was a small gold band, one that had one small diamond encrusted in it, the best Remus' money could buy. But now that she knew what was coming, the tears welled again. "Will you marry me?" Those four words sounded glorious to Tonks' ears. She couldn't speak, she was too strung up. Instead, she just nodded, something that caused Remus to laugh heartily. Embracing his new fiancé close, Remus once more planted a tender kiss upon her lips, which pulled up into a glorious smile.

Finally, Tonks found her voice. Her heart felt ready to burst, and she couldn't stop smiling. "I… I thought you were going to tell me you were over me," She said weakly. "Then to have you come in here and _propose_, of all things!" She laughed and socked Remus on the shoulder. He flinched slightly, but stood, offering Tonks a hand up as well. Both had sunken onto the floor, and a ruckus was starting up outside of the small parlor.

"Funny," Lupin murmured, his arms still wrapped around Tonks, not wanting to let go. She was his forever, and he was not about to let go of her. "I didn't tell any one…" but the fact that Fred and George lived in the same place made any state of privacy impossible. The twins were the first to bust into the room, one carrying a bottle of firewiskey, the other shooting marvelous red and gold sparks from his wand. "Congratulations!" They cheered simultaneously as the firewiskey was opened and a flood of people poured in. Tonks sank down onto the couch, and before she could say a word, she was engulfed by the larger portion of the female population in the house. Fluer, Ginny, Hermione and Mrs. Weasley all rushed over to her side, all trying to shout over each other to be heard. Laughing grandly, Tonks collapsed back onto the sofa, her eyes wandering over to Remus, who was enthusiastically talking to Bill Weasley.

It mightn't have been a grand proposal, but it was surprising. Many women always remembered how their sweetheart had taken them some where special, offered them a glass of champagne with the ring in the bottom. For Tonks, though, Remus couldn't have done it better. So maybe he was a werewolf? She loved him with all of her sheer will, and that was something she would never forget.


End file.
